Have you ever tried searching for something when you don’t know what it looks like? It takes longer, right? This is mostly because you don’t know what you are looking for. The same is with finding a life partner. You must know what you are looking for in a companion. Only then you will know if you can have a future with them.
This calls for an exercise in self-discovery. Let’s take a look at certain things you need to do and know about yourself before you jump into matrimonial search.
1. Keep an Open Mind
You may have a ‘type’ that you are attracted to or have been told that people with certain kinds of traits make for ideal partners. This is not always true. While having a preference is not wrong, it is important to keep an open mind when you start searching for your life partner. Open up to the idea of connecting with someone who is different from you or has different interests.
2. There is no Such Thing as the Perfect Partner
Everyone has watched Disney classics while growing up like Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, etc. These movies have set our expectation of what a perfect partner should be like. Let’s make it clear – the perfect partner does not exist. The idea is to build a connection with someone and look past their flaws.
3. Learn from your Past Experiences
Sometimes, the past is the best teacher. If you have been in relationships before that have failed, you can learn from them to avoid making the same mistakes again. Take a close look at why you are choosing a person and then do something different.
4. Talk to Couples in Healthy Relationships
The best advice you can get is from couples who are already in a healthy relationship. They would have experienced the problems you are currently facing and can tell you how to deal with them the right way. Later, you can also ask them what makes their relationship such a success for future references.
5. Sharing Future Goals
The best way to know if someone is a good match for you or not is by asking them two questions – Does this person share my future goals and desires? Do you feel like a better person in their company? If the answer to both questions is a yes then you know you are on the right track. The first question deals with your like-mindedness while the second question is a reflection of how they treat you. Both form an important foundation for a successful relationship.
6. Take a Personality Test
Doing this will help you understand the kind of person you are which in turn will help you understand the kind of person you can get along with. You can even read up on the personality types that are compatible with yours.
7. Make a List of Things You Value
Create a list of characteristics that you find endearing. For example, there are higher chances of having a great relationship with people who are warm, cooperative and emotionally mature. So, the next time you meet someone on a matrimony site or through friends, you know exactly the kind of qualities to look for in a person.
8. Find Things that You do not want in a Relationship
If you are still finding it difficult to understand how to gauge a person based on their values, try another approach. Make a list of things that you do not want in your partner. For example, someone who is disrespectful to people with lesser privileges, someone who does not match your expectations from a marriage or the number of children you want, etc. This can act as a great filtering process and save a lot of time.
So, do you think these points were helpful? Try them out to know for yourself. It may not be exactly like the picture you have painted but now that you have a rough visual in your head, the search would get a little easier for sure. Let the matrimonial search begin!